So, mystery google.
I searched "email me your best poetry" or something like that.
This is what I got.
I love it.


this is def poetry
this is def poetry
and i am a def poet
see, you might miss some of the meaning
behind these lines because this goes beyond sound
i dug these syllables up from deep below the ground
we're talking ancient things hidden deep in the earth,
raw whispers spoken by old medicine men into the vacuum of forever
these words were carved in harsh lines into the sides of mountains 4000 years ago
with a chisel and a prayer that time would never win
time is my enemy time is all of our enemies
time allows buildings to burn
hearts to break, foundations to shake and crumble
and time keeps distance awake.
i don't like this distance between us.
it's growing inside of our words like a parasite,
feeding on the blood drawn by things we didn't mean to say.
i can't keep the highway from stretching it's arms into the sky's mouth
where i can't reach i am not tall enough,
but i'm still trying to beat this distance back.
my knuckles are bloodied from beating this distance back,
my breath is heavy in my chest from running, trying to keep up,
running towards what should be, running away from what's coming
because even if i take my hearing aids off i can still hear
that damn death clock winding down, reminding me
every kiss we share is just me breathing a piece of myself into you
and i'll never get it back. we have only so many kisses until
my lungs give out, my lips decay, my tongue stops bleeding poetry.
i wish we were all def poets
because then we wouldn't let the distance come between us.
instead of letting our voices build temporary bridges in the silence,
that fall at the slightest touch
we would come together like waves against a cliff,
build bridges with our breaths across each other's necks,
carve harsh lines into each others skin with hard hands,
draw blood to remind ourselves we are alive,
reach our minds back to where we all began, in the dark
where the only thing that can speak is a touch.
see, this is def poetry.
this is a revolution against time, and silence, and distance,
because those are the three things that keep me up at night,
those are the three things that lie heavy on my chest
making each breath inhaled a battle won
i am a deaf poet.



Thank you, internet stranger, it's beautiful!

that can be legit interpreted.

Okay. So I was at a party. Corey was there, and he was like, "come sit with me!".
So we went and sat on a couch. Well, he was lying on it, and I was sitting on it. I was eating a sandwhich, and then his hand just kinda creeped up and held my left one.

1. Party- To dream that you are at a party, suggests that you need to get out more and enjoy yourself. If the party is bad, then it indicates that you are unsure of your social skills.
-Yeah I do think I need to go to more parties.

2. Green- Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence. Money, wealth and jealousy are often associated with this color.
Dark green indicates materialism, cheating, deceit, and/or difficulties with sharing. You need to balance between your masculine and feminine attributes.
-The couch was dark green. I like the cheating idea ;)

3. Couch- To see or dream that you are on a couch, represents rest, relaxation, laziness or boredom. It may also mean you need to clear you mind and thoughts. Consider also who is on the couch with you as the dream may also have sexual connotations.
-Uh. Last line.

4. To see a sandwich in your dream, suggests that a lot of pressure and stress is being put on you. It also reflects your ability to do two things at once. However, sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich.
-I'm wondering if this is another symbol for Corey. "do two things at once". But also yeah, stress/pressure on me.

5. Holding Hands- To dream of your hands, represents your relationship to those around you and how you connect with the world. Hands serve as a form of communication. Perhaps you need to lend out a helping hand to someone. In particular, the left hand symbolizes your graciousness and feminine, receptive qualities, while the right hand symbolizes masculine, active attributes.
To dream that you are holding hands with someone, represents your connection with that person. Your dream may also reflect anxieties about losing touch with him/her or that you are drifting apart.


Well. Idk.

- Saraharmstrong says (8:34 PM):
http://www.facebook.com/saraharmstrongg?v=feed&story_fbid=172155358730
[ Sarah Armstrong EVERYONE LOVES A DRAMA
57 minutes ago · Comment · Like / Unlike
Collin Thegreat
I prefure laughing IN drama.
10 minutes ago · Delete]

Eric? says (8:35 PM):
...

- Saraharmstrong says (8:35 PM):
"No that's not what I'm talking about?"
or
"wtf"

Eric? says (8:35 PM):
hold on we have to think about this
is stright up deleting his comment an option?

- Saraharmstrong says (8:35 PM):
I've already done that before

- Saraharmstrong says (8:36 PM):
but it's an option if I can't think of anything else
and just leaving it is not an option

Eric? says (8:36 PM):
okay okay

- Saraharmstrong says (8:36 PM):
what about

Eric? says (8:36 PM):
agreed

- Saraharmstrong says (8:36 PM):
:|
?

Eric? says (8:37 PM):
no, he might think a face is playing along or something
we need something that lets him know he sounds like an idiot but we can't directly insult him y'know?

- Saraharmstrong says (8:38 PM):
yeah thats what i'm thinking

Eric? says (8:38 PM):
"haha..."

- Saraharmstrong says (8:38 PM):
what abour
"...lol?"

Eric? says (8:39 PM):
ohh thats a contender

- Saraharmstrong says (8:39 PM):
I like the ellipses idea

Eric? says (8:40 PM):
"Don't comment on my wall you unfunny, creepy dwarf. Your jokes aren't funny and your sense of humor contradicts itself. I know drama is supposed to be a friednly enviorment but just because I've had to put up with you for the past two years doesn't make us friends.
PS - Amanda hates you."

- Saraharmstrong says (8:41 PM):
LOL
LOLLOLOLOL
AHAHHAHA
AHAAHAHA
I wish

Eric? says (8:41 PM):
but yeah, "...lol?" sends the message

- Saraharmstrong says (8:41 PM):
I was thinking I should add an "uh" at the beginning

- Saraharmstrong says (8:42 PM):
"uh... lol?"
?

Eric? says (8:42 PM):
the question mark is the point sender though
the uhh is fairly unnessesary
but its your call

- Saraharmstrong says (8:42 PM):
oh oaky I didnt realize that
...lol? it is

Eric? says (8:44 PM):
awesome

Just some feedback.
What I'm thinking play by play.
I had just finished blazing and I wasn't talking to Leah at the time, so I wanted to talk to her some more. I was worried if this random re-talking would make Leah think that I high. She already knew I had chronic. But then I didn't think she'd care anyways, I was going to tell I'm high if she had've just said "Nothing, you?". I ask the simple question:
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:11 AM):
So what's up with you?
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:11 AM):
listening to Emily Haines and being comtemplative.

I already knew she was listening to Emily Haines because her personal message said "The Sly- Emily Haines".
I was intrigued by "comtemplative". I know what it means when Leah's thinking. I considered what she was being comtemplative of; if she was considering Eric. I know that I'm (forgive me for the vanity) I'm the only person that Leah accepts my asking of this next question, allows me to push it. So I push:
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:12 AM):
Comptemplative of what?
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:12 AM):
you need to download all of emily haines stuff because I wanna listen to her when I'm high.

All self-explanatory. She's the only person that I would ever say my actual, honest thoughts, without censoring or omitting anything:
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:12 AM):
LOL OMG
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:12 AM):
I LOVE THAT YOU SAID THAT
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:12 AM):
Cuz I was like, "Do I tell her I'm high or not!?" to myself

I realized that I already knew this:
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:13 AM):
lol I could kind of fiugre it out.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:13 AM):
but yeah, just contemplative of George and of Eric.

No! Leah can't be feeling sad!
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:13 AM):
and sadness.
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:13 AM):
no!

I saw her typing while I was typing, but didn't erase anything. I was alarmed when I read what she said...
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:13 AM):
and being lonely.
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:13 AM):
not sadness!
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:13 AM):
or loneliness

But I knew it was better-ish when I read this
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:14 AM):
haha I know, its just that, god, this sounds so fucking cliche but I'm addicted to love now.
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:14 AM):
ahaha omg
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:14 AM):
aww
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:15 AM):
yeah it kind of sucks.

However I was alarmed again while I read "George." I need to impress that George is a psycho upon her:
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:15 AM):
Like, George makes me feel like shit, but he also makes me feel wanted.
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:15 AM):
that's how it works
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:15 AM):
though

When I read this I empathise with my best friend. I understand her solution, and consider my options to make her feel better. I go with: Comforting Humour.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:15 AM):
I don't like being lonely anymore.
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:16 AM):
:(
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:16 AM):
well then
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:16 AM):
I have a solution:

She types something, but erases. I wait to see if she says something else. She begins to type again, but erases it. I let her wait, and very slowly I type:
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:17 AM):
Eric.

She takes a second. I'm laughing.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:17 AM):
LOL.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:17 AM):
well yeah, we'll see how that goes.

I smile at this. Success.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:17 AM):
(yn)
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:17 AM):
;)
I don't know what to say to her, so I leave it at that.

A pause. I'm surprised to see this:
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:24 AM):
god I hope Eric likes me.

I don't want to say "He does" becuase a) he could come of creepy, b) I don't know if he does or not so I could be lying. So I decide to say something supportive, give her incentive to want to pursue this:
- Saraharmstrong. says (2:24 AM):
Defs will

I don't feel a response is nessacary to this. I understand what she's saying and I suspect she know's I'll respond if I have questions.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:25 AM):
idk, boys are fickle.
- leah; it's so simple the way they fall, no cry, no whimper, no sound at all. says (2:25 AM):
not saying Eric is but still.

Soo tonight was fucking awesome. As much as I don't want to write about how my night was, it's my fucking birthday, I'm just going to write it.
I'm probably going to make this all wierd.
So basically, this was my first night of a new year, telling me my 17th year is going to be ficking great.
I think the show was actually just a party under the name of a show. It was more of a party atmosphere, just with a show attached.
So after Sunfest, we decided to bus down, although we could've trekked it. So we get off the bus, head to the address. We get there and we see a flourescently lit room. There's only one guy standing in there, and like, a couch. We decide we're early (even though it's after 10) and go grab some food.
Good thing, because it still (it being the music) hadn't started when we got there.
So we go in, and essentially, it's just a single car garage. People are hanging out inside, and outside. We went outside and sat on the ground. People were blazing and drinking, so we rolled a joint.
We were awfully close to the rolled up garage door, where the back of the set was, so we thought it would be courteous to move.
We got a light from Videotape, which was cool because we didn't know at the time. Eric just lit it right infront of them, and they were totally impressed.
The place was so cool. There were probably just like 50-60 people there, having a good time, dancing and stuff. They all knew eachother, they all hung out.
The music was very, very good. I was pleasantly surprised at Sick Friend, who's music on their myspace isn't the best.
And people totally talked to us when we were leaving. They accepted us, even though they knew we were younger.
If we keep this up, we'll become friends with them.
We are the next generation them. I am loving it, and I can't wait for the school year to begin. I need to go shopping.

Things I've always wanted to say, but never have. Leah you just inspired me.
I never see my best friends but I know that they'll always have my back.
It's been so long since I've seen Moneesha and Jacquie that I'm scared they won't like me anymore.
Heather and I are "cool" kids, but I'm scared we'll be losers when we grow up.
I care alot about image.
My parents are holding me back, in their efforts to push me forwards.
I don't do schoolwork because I feel like I don't learn anything. I grasp every concept. I know it all.
Alot of people don't like that I smoke pot, but it's something I do recreationally, like watching TV or playing sports.
Humour is important to me. I think less of you if you don't get my jokes.
I know it sounds terrible, but I think my mom is jealous of me because I'm cooler than she was in high school.
I have something bad to say about almost everyone.
I don't ever step on the bottom step anywhere. It started at my nan's house, something Heather and I have always done, but now I've become so used to it since I don't do it at my hosue, after Kyle magged all over it.
For a while, I had mo where to turn to when things got tough. I had no phone or internet to talk to Leah or Heather, and I'm just not that close with anyone at school. My mom always gets mad at me when I try to open up, and I couldn't write because she goes through my stuff. So I cut my thighs. If anyone saw them, I said it was from my dog. Last week, I tried telling me mom. She got mad and said that I was just saying I did it, for attention. She thinks I would lie about something that serious for attention.
Whenever I get depression spells, what always gets to me is that I keep thinking about what problems I'll have as an adult, if I think that this is hard.
I hate fighting, more than anything. My mom says that I purposefully start them, and that fucking hurts to hear. Especially since I try my hardest to avoid them.
I think my life is very absurd.
No one likes Katt. I hated Katt for most of our friendship, but couldn't end it for scholastic reasons. I was always worried that people hated me because they hated her.
I'm glad though that I got arrested with her and not Moneesha or Jacquie. Because that would suck.
I love drinking.
I love blazing.
Heather and I are kind of a big deal.
I write alot.
I've never been in love and I fear I never will be, since I've seen it grow sour numerous times in my life.
I love old people. I don't know why, I just think they're so adorable. I can't wait to grow old, especially if I have someone. My grammie and grandpa have been married 50 years. My grammie's mom didn't even go to the wedding, because no one thought they would make it. But they did.
I want that.

Something about a grocery store, AGAIN. A boy named Adam had left his homework in my yearbook? My mom agreed to let me stay at Heather's for the rest of the summer so we washed the dishes there. Heather and I were walking with Junior and Jessica Watts.

The fact of the matter is, Heather and I are kindof a big deal. We're fun to be around, we don't create drama, we know how to have a good time, and how to make the people around us have a good time.
We're those girls. You know, those girls. I guess around there, I could be a bit of a mystery.
"Where's she from?"
"Lambeth"
"I have no idea where that is"
"Who cares!"
Or something like that, idk.

I'm a bit more high class than the people around there. Everyone there loves me. I come from semi-far away, just to party with them! In a sense, I'm a little party favour.
Sometimes even, I bring a boy from Byron with me to party with them. A boy with actual style, who can party just as hard as they do.
Another thing about Heather and I, we can drink. And everyone knows that. Everyone knows that we don't chase, and how fast we can down it. They know it, they talk about it, they think about it.
We're our own social circle that mixes with the other ones. People want us to affiliate ourselves with them. People want to name drop.

We're those girls, and we're </i>kind of</i> a big deal.
We're not bad together, we're cool together. We're hip, stylish, and sooooo funny.
God, I dread the day we have to grow up.
Fuck that.


[AH LOOKING BACK I REALIZE THAT I WAS REALLY FUCKING CONCIETED 8 DAYS AGO WHEN I WROTE THIS]

Something about eating mushrooms.
I got hired at Pizza Pizza, so I went to a grocery store, bought stuff, talked to two cashiers, went out back to the Pizza Pizza, sat on a bench with my two trainers (I used to work with one of them at McDonalds), we were near my school, I find out that Mr. Thomas is the one that hired me.

Heather gave me this excerise book the other day. I needed somewhere to write down our plans for my party. But this is cool. Cooler than the clipboard I was writing on during exam week. [I'll post those later]

I won't call this a journal. Or a diary. Those get too exclusive, stuff only the writer understands.
If it was on the internet (which it will end up on anyways), it would be called a blog,
However, I'll call this my nfn. Non Fiction Novel.

My name is Sarah and this might be the best summer ever.
I'm drinking weed tea right now, but I can't tell you if it works or not, since I'm already high from smoking a fat joint.

It's delicious. Since I'm a tea fanatic, I know what I'm doing. I mixed some stems with the smallest amount of chai in the infuser, and let it steep. Since I'm not the biggest chai fan, I used a small amount, and threw in a decaf orange pekoe bag.
No milk, and a little bit of sugar.

I'm grounded from the computer and from going out. So basically, I'm stuck with myself and my parents for the next few days. That can get annoying.
Overwhelming.
But at least this notebook might provide a retreat.
I think this tea may have worked a little.

I have some liqour under my bed that I planned on drinking today, but I think I'm just going to save it for another time, with friends.

I need to paint my toe nails.

Is this wierd? What I'm doing? This isn't very normal is it?
I feel like this is the kind of shit my psychiatrist would want to read.
Freud shit, unconscious mind shit.
This is your brain on drugs.

- Leah. a kiss with a fist is better then none says (7:13 PM):
BUT, YOU HAVE TO PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE BECAUSE THIS IS THE SECRET THAT I TOLD YOU I WOULD NEVER TELL YOU.

- Saraharmstrong says (7:13 PM):
I PROMISE

- Saraharmstrong says (7:13 PM):
BECAUSE IM ASSUMING YOU WONT TELL MINE

- Leah. a kiss with a fist is better then none says (7:14 PM):
LAWL. I WON'T EVER. EVEN IF LORD VOLDEMORT CRUCIO'D ME HIMSELF.









(L)!!!!!!!!!1!111!1111one!!!11!!!1
Scrawled 2 o' hourglasses ago - Weigh in


Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 7:52 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
D:
MY NERDINESS IS REVEALED.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 7:52 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
MORE-ISH.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 7:52 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Oh, we all already knew it.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:13 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
...

-crucio-

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:17 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
you're not Voldemort, ya tool.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:18 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Oh but I am. Even check my status.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:21 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
She's still not going to tell you.
"EVEN IF LORD VOLDEMORT CRUCIO'D ME HIMSELF"

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:21 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
rofl I don't really care, if it's a secret I don't need to know

but like

... idk i'm voldemort

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:22 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
...You die.
I kill you.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:22 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
I'M HARRY POTTAH
HARRY HARRY POTTAH

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:25 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
HARRY POTTER HARRY POTTER POTTER YEAH
HARRY POTTER HARRY POTTER THATS ME
HARRY POTTER HARRY POTTER OOH

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:25 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Wrong order, whatever.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:26 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
the sad thing is, is that life were a harry potter novel I'd like... Seamus or someone who just kind of there.
NO, YOU KNOW WHO I'D BE?
THE TICKLISH PEAR PORTRAIT THAT IS THE DOOR TO THE KITCHENS.
thats who I'd be.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:26 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
ilu

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:27 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
I'd be some Ravenclaw nerd

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:28 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
lol I'm not even awesome enough to be ravenclaw.
I'd be hufflepuff.
or Flitwick.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:28 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
You'd be like, Susan Bones.

I'd be like,
A ghost.
Like, the bloody baron or something.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:29 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
LAWLLLLL!
thats true.
fucking susan Bones.
no one likes you.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:29 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
... lol?

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:29 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
yes.
lol.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:29 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
SUSAN
YOUR MOM DIES.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:30 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
SORRY FOR YOUR LUCK
DD:

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:30 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
ATTENTION CHILDREN

VOLDEMORT KILLS *****!

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:30 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
DDDD:
FML.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:30 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
haha sarah if you're harry potter your mom dies too

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:31 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
HAHA.
sucks to be all of us because we all fail.
harry because he's so angsty
Voldemort because he's a dickhead
and Susan because really? Susan? no.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:32 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Fuck life.
I marry a ginger though!

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:32 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
lol I love how we're like.. RPing on facebook.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:34 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
i used to have a facebook rp account

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:34 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
YAY FOR RPS.

WE SHOULD CREATE AN RP ON LJ.
LIKE THE THREE OF US.
AND MAYBE SOME OTHER PEOPLE.

BUT WE ALL HAVE TO PICK RANDOM PEOPLE TO RP.
NO MAIN CHARCTERS.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:34 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
yeeeeeuh!!
omg, that would be epic.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:35 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
like wocky kitaki

who the fuck is wocky kitaki i love him

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:36 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
He's from pw.

I'm being serious about this lj rp.
I want to be Neville's Grandma!

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:37 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
I WANNA BE WOCKY KITAKI

HE'S THE COOLEST

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:37 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
HE'S NOT FROM HARRY POTTER YA TOOL.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:37 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
D:
I get to be like.. Daphne Greengrass.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:37 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
who's thaaaaaaaat!?

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:37 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
SOMEONE COOL FOR ONCE.
NO GODDAMN SUSAN BONES.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:38 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
http://www.court-records.net/animation/ani-takita-grr.gif

innt he cute

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:38 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
NO HE'S NOT FROM HP.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:38 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
loool nice.
and Daphne is just a random slytherin

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:39 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Okayyy!
Actually,

I want to be Madame Bones.

YEEEEEEEEAH.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:40 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
you die

Heather Milner 'pon the stroke of 9:40 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Lullz!
Leah Your Toooooo Caute!

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:41 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
:D!
lol thanks Heather, I am soooooooooo lame.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:41 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
I don't care if I dieeeeeeeeeee!

Let's do hp up to 6.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:41 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
i want to be that chick dobby

winky

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:41 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
yeah, book 7 just gets tooo complicated.

Jamie Antonucci 'pon the stroke of 9:41 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
WOCKY GOES TO HOGWARTS

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:42 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
YEEUH.
winky would be fun to rp.
just cry and be insane.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:42 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
LETS ACTUALLY DO IT OMG.

Heather Milner 'pon the stroke of 9:42 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
One Day Lame People Will Rule The Earth ;)

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:42 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
err one pick a character and stick with it.
I'm Madame Bones.

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:42 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
... how do we start these things.
I AM A RP NOOB.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:43 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Heather that's irrelevant go die. (L)

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:43 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
I AM TOO
JAMIE....?

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:43 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
lol Heather, I'm pretty sure they already do
*cough* GEORGE BUSH*cough*

Heather Milner 'pon the stroke of 9:44 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Sarah Maybe I Will So I Dont Have To See You Tomorrow ;)

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:44 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
I AM... idk.
Pansy Parkinson.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:45 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
LOL.
YUSSSS.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:45 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
and that was directed to the two of you ;)

Leah Moxam 'pon the stroke of 9:46 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
Ouch, I'd smack her one if I were you Heather.

Sarah Armstrong 'pon the stroke of 9:46 in the evenin' on Decembarrrr 20
DON'T PROVOKE HER.
SHE'LL DO IT.

HEATHER PICK A NOT MAIN HP CHARACTER
OKAY?

The Skinny Pt. 2.

If I could have one wish, I would wish for the deletion of two words. Skinny and Fat. I wish there was no such thing as skinny or fat. I wish every one could just be comfortable with the body they were given.
I guess that makes me a bit of a hipocrite. Because I am just as uncomfortable with my body as the next girl. I am too thin. Sometimes I see a really skinny girl, and my friends will make a comment, like, "Look at her legs, ew." And all I can think is am I that bad? Do people make comments like that about me?
I was always small. I was born 4lbs. I'm 16 years old and not even triple digits yet. I always tell my friends, when they're feeling "fat", that it doesn't matter about the number, it matters about how you pull it off. Well, I don't think I pull off 97lbs too well. I have a pretty face. My boobs are generally big for my size, and sometimes, I look killer in short shorts. I know that all that seems like I have enough confidence too spare, but I try my best to wear sweaters whenever I can because my arms are rediculously small, and I wear sweatpants to cover my legs as well. When I wear jeans, I wear skinny jeans, which probably isn't the best idea because, well they're called "Skinny Jeans" for a reason. I really don't like accentuating.
I have a very broad range of friends, when it comes to weight. I have friends who weigh less than me, I have overweight friends, I have normal sized friends, I have muscled friends, I have friends who could pull off anything. No matter what, I feel insignificant standing next to any single one of them. I feel bad if I'm with an overweight friend, because we must look hilarious together. I feel bad when I'm with a normal sized friend, because some of them tell me that they would kill to be skinny. I feel bad when I'm with a muscled friend, or one who could pull off anything, because I don't look good next to them. And I feel bad when I'm with a skinny friend because I'm not used to weighing more than anyone over the age of 12.
See, even skinny girls are insecure.

The Skinny.

My family eats ALOT. Sure, some of them are a little overweight, some of them are growing, and some of them are simply, MEN. It was Christmas, and I was 15 years old. Every Christmas, we all go to my Nan's house for a feast and for presents and stuff. Like I said, my family eats ALOT. And personally, I've always thought I did too. Sure, I don't go back for second helpings like the rest of my family, but I still think I eat a substantial amount.
My family gatherings consist of 7 kids, and 8 adults, and I'm the smallest. I'm not the youngest, but I easily weigh the least. I must have been 94lbs at the time. We might as well change our last name to Darwin. Survival of the fittest. Let's just say that if we were stranded on an island, I'd be first to go.
They do this thing, where since I always pee after I eat, (not only do I have a fast metabolism, I have an equally fast digestive system. And they wonder why I'm thin?) they always say that I'm going to throw up. I understand why it's funny for them, so sometimes I just go along with the joke, whatever, I know that they know that it's not true. But this was Christmas. Even my own Nan was making fun of me for it, which hurts.
My mom and my dad and my brother don't spend as much time with my family as I do, so this was the first time my mom had heard this joke. Since it was Christmas, I wasn't going along with the joke, I simply told them to knock it off. However, my mom asked to speak to me alone, in the kitchen.
Her eyes welled with tears. "Mom, what's wrong?" I asked.
"Is.. Is everything alright? How come I didn't know about this. If you need help, why didn't you come to me? We can get you help." She replied.
"What are you talking about?"
"You! Throwing up?"
"No! Mom! I don't do that! It's just a joke!"
"It's not very funny."

She was right. It is not funny whatsoever. I never laugh at this joke when it's brought up. It makes me think of girls who do suffer from bulimia and anorexia nevosa. Not only is this joke putting down myself, it's putting down an emotional disorder.
I'm not calling my family insensitive or anything, I love them to bits and they would never deliberately put down any serious matter. I simply want to explain one word. One word that I hear everyday. Directed at me, directed away from other girls. I hear it on TV, at school, at work, I hear it from random people on the street.
Skinny.

I don't know if it's because he's a boy, or if it's because he's Nathan, but we don't fight. Before I met him, I hung out with a bunch of catty girls. We would fight over the dumbest things, like boys, or nail polish. I was never into the same stuff as them. I didn't listen to same sell out music as them. I didn't have the same taste in boys as them. We really had nothing in common. I felt neglected around them. I knew that I wasn't always invited when they hung out. I could feel the relief they felt when I left the room. I didn't mind the whispers. I was friend's with them by defualt. Since elementary school. I can't pinpoint whether I changed, or if it was them who changed without me.
Either way, I know that I'm happier with Nathan. We accomplish things. My other friends and I would either shop, or sit around and gossip or watch movies. My mom noticed that I was happier since I became freinds with Nathan. I've lightened up. My sarcasm was still there, if not sharper, but it was visibly all in good fun.
Nathan and I don't even bicker. I may be stubborn, but Nathan knows the right way to lighten the mood, as opposed to trying to convince me otherwise. He has his ideas, as do I.
In grade ten, we had drama together again. That's when we really got into the theatre scene. We befreinded other peers from that class. An even mix of guys and girls. I guess theatre could be another reason why Nathan is mistaken as a homosexual sometimes. That doesn't bother him. It's just the whole labelling, stereotype thing that does. There's nothing wrong with being gay.
He experimented once though. At a party, he was drunk out of his mind, as was our gay friend Micheal. I promised Nathan that I would keep an eye on him. I wouldn't let him get too drunk. There were alot of people there, though. Including a guy that I had been eyeing for a bit. I was talking and flirting with him, when I finally saw Nathan.
And Micheal. They were doing body shots. Off eachother. A whole crowd had gathered by this point. One thing leading to another, they're lips were locked. There was groping involved. Some people cheered, others booed and threw things at them. It was hilarious. I couldn't bring myself to intervene, it was just too funny. When they stopped, I went up to Nathan, and whispered, "You're drunk." His face went red. I wrapped my arm around him and brought him home.
The next day I got some tea and brought it to his house, knowing full well he'd be hung over. Julie let me in, and I went to his room and played video games while he slept. When he woke up within an hour, he wasn't surprised to see me.
"Hey Tam," he yawned, wiping sleep from his eye with one hand, reaching for his tea with the other. It was almost cold by now, but we didn't mind. "What happened last night? I feel like shit."
"Well, you got some," I laughed, knowing I could never let him live this one down."
His eyes lit up, "Really!? Who was the lucky girl?"
I laughed even harder, enarly spitting my luke warm tea all over his comforter. Nathan had no expression. He obviously didn't understand the irony in the question he just asked me. Knowing full well he'd yell when he heard who it was, I asked if he wanted to go to the park. Using the argument that no kids would be there today, on this dreary Sunday morning.
We got to the park and assembled ourselves in our usual postions under the bridge. Nathan had been getting irritable, pestering me the whole way there. He stopped once to throw up, and I gave him an ibuprofen for his headache.
"Micheal was really drunk too," I said, hoping that it would spark something for him to remember.
"That's great, who'd I hook up with?"
I waited a moment, trying to think of the way to put it. I wanted him to guess, but instead I blurted, "Micheal."
"What?" Nathan obviously didn't get it.
I counted in my head to twelve when Nathan finally shouted "FUCK." He wiped his mouth and spat a few times. He stared at me in pure disbelief. I wanted to laugh, I really did. I still, to this day, find this situation absolutely hilarious.
"YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP AN EYE ON ME!" Nathan was screaming, as I still refrained from laughing.
I wanted to apologize. But I couldn't. I knew sorry wouldn;t cut it. I wanted to tell him the whole truth. I wanted to tell him about the body shots. I wanted to give him a hug, I wanted to ask him if he liked it. I wanted to yell at him for leading Micheal, who was actually gay, on. I wondered how Micheal felt. I wanted to tell him that we left early, that I literally tucked him into bed. Anything. Anything but laugh.
I surpressed it for too long. It shot out like a bullet. Loud cackles, like a hyena. The most disgusting laugh to ever enter my ears, let alone leave my mouth. It wasn't untill I caught a tear in Nathan's eye that I stopped.
"Oh Nate," I sighed, reaching to stroke his face.
Gently, he smacked my hand away. "Don't touch me," Was all he said. Those whispered words smacked me right in the mouth. I wanted to cry along with him.
I tried to apologize, but the words that came out were more like a gurgle. Another gurgle, and finally a sob.
"How could you let me do that?" Nathan asked quietly.
I couldn't answer that question either. "Are you... do you like boys?" I asked instead.
He shook his head. I really believed him. Finally, I was sorry. I apologized, amd he accepted it. I told him about the bosy shots. I called Micheal, who wasn't upset when I told him Nathan wasn't interested.
When the rain started to fall, we didn't leave. We stayed and finished our tea. We mutually agreed never to drink again.
And I deleted the video off my phone. I never told Nathan about that.
This was our only fight.

As the summer draws nearer to an end, I fear my childhood is doing the same. I wonder if I had known Nathan as a child, would we still be the same as are now? Or would we be different? When I think about it, I'm glad I met him when I did, we would;nt be friends if I had met him any earlier. Besides, boys had cooties back then anyway.
Of course, whenever I think about knowing Nathan as a child, I think about knowing him as an adult. We both want to be teachers, so at least we'll have eachother for university. But after that, Nathan wants to come back to this stupid town, and I definitely don't. We'll try to make it work, but after our jobs are established in a few years, it will be difficult to keep in touch. I can't expect us to be friends forever, it would just be, nice.
I try to imagine our kids playing together and calling him 'Uncle Nathan'. I try to imagine him watching football with my husband while I gossip with his wife. I try to imagine buying neighbouring cottages together and spending whole summers up there. I try to imagine growing old and playing darts together.
But with all that imagining, I imagine long flights, alone, back to this town where i grew up. I imagine staying with my parents and going on an awkward lunch date with him.
I know it won't work as well as I plan it to. I know I can't convince him to move away with me. I can't take him from the place he loves most. i'm not that selfish. I guess we'll just have to make the most of what time we have left.
That being said, Nathan and I are pretty epic. Or, we try to be. We spend our weekends in the kitchen, making crazy recipes, like toast topped with melted cheese and marshmallows, covered in chocolate sauce. We write ridiculous plays and parodies, like Nathan Pan, and perform them for our parents. We still make prank phone calls, placing bets on who can get theirs to last the longest, believability, and who the call was made to (bonus points if it's a teacher!)
Nathan was there for me when my hamster Voldemort died, he was there when my boyfriend broke up with me (yes, he was literally there). I cried with him when his sister moved away for college, I've set him up on numerous blind dates. We were interviewed for a job at the local cinema together, and we both got it. We joined doubles badminton at school. And got kicked off the team when we pantsed an opposing mascot. Yeah, we're pretty Epic.
Nathan tells me to breathe. He's my best friend, but so much more. He's my brother and my father. He's a teacher and a student. He's here for me, as I am for him.

    Nathan and I are not dating. We never have and I seriously doubtwe ever will. We won't end up marrying eachother like the typical cliche boy/girl friendship. We have kissed. A few times as dares, and once a little more seriously.
    It was our first summer together as best friends. Very early on in our friendship. We were both new to all of it. Near the end of the summer going into grade ten, Nathan's sister Rachel, and her boyfriend Luke took us to the beach. It was a normal beach day, but Rachel and Luke wanted to go to a bar at eight. Nathan and I stayed back at the beach, by this point, all the families had cleared out and it was all couples. I remember this night so vivdily. The colours, pink, blue, orange, green. The smell, vinegar and cotton candy from the snack stop. The feeling of the sand, which was cool since the sun was almost gone. The sound of the waves rolling onto the shore.
    I think this night was the defining moment in our friendship. When the moon rose, I noted that it was full. The stars shone twice as bright as they do in the city. By ten oclock, all the couples had left and it was only Nathan and I on the beach. He texted Rachel who said that a really good band was playing, so she'd be another few hours. She suggested we go see a movie.
    Nathan asked if I wanted to go, but a sudden rush of adreniline hit me. I stood up, and shouted "You'll have to catch me," right in his ear. I went straight for the water. The moonlight pushing me to run. I looked behind me, my hair getting carried by the wind, and I could see a shirtless Nathan catching up quickly. I laughed ferociously as the waves crashed against my thighs. I was snapped out of my fit of laughter when Nathan picked me up into a fireman carry. I protested, but I was enjoying myself.
    He carried me to shore, and gently lay me in the sand, next to the remains of a sand castle. With one arm beside me for support, Nathan leaned over me, and stared into my eyes. I had never noticed how blue his eyes were, because of his brown hair. I could see the moon smiling at us, out of the corner of my eye.
    The moon told me to do it. It was a different voice in my head then there usually is. The moon whispered but two words. The two words that changed my friendship forever, even if I didn't know it at the time. The friendship that changed me life. By extension, the moon changed my life. "Kiss him."
    With his free hand, Nathan brushed some sand off of my cheek. I put both my hands behind his head, twined my fingers into his hair. I pulled his face to mine, his mouth opened expectanly when our lips brushed. I rolled my body onto his, crushing the sandcastle, pressing my body against his.
    After a few moment, I opened my eyes and realized what we were doing. I pulled away, hurt by the hurt look that graced his face for a moment. But then we laughed. We laughed our most annoying, predictable laughs. The ones we make fun of eachother for. We helped eachother stand up, and brushed the sand off of our clothes, and headed to theatre.

    "I don't think I should wear the vest with these pants.. They're borderline skinies. I don't want to look "scene" or whatever," Nathan critiqued, more to himself than to me, as he checked out his ass in the mirror.
    "You don't. You look older," I replied, folding a sweater, comtemplating borrowing it. "You look trendy."
    "I don't want people to think I'm gay again," Nathan had been mistaken as gay twice in grade ten, asked out and everything.
    "Being trendy doesn't mean you like boys, besides, it doesn't look good with any other pants you own."
    "I should take it back," Nathan decided, trying to find the reciept in the jumble of bags and hangers on his floor. He held up a pair of pants and checked the pockets, in a frenzy. I saw the reciept near my foot on his bed, but decided to let him suffer a little longer.
    He was in need of a haircut, as usual.  Just a trim though, his hair looks good long, he just needed to cut his bangs so they stop covering his eyes, making it difficult for him to search for his reciept.
    Finally, I giggled, "You're not taking it back, it looks good on you."
    "Really!?" Nathan stood up and straightened his back, puffed out his chest, as he looked in his mirror again.
    "Ego capacity equals full," I said. He's worse than a woman.
    "Not even!" Nathan exclaimed, grabbing his new backpack and hurling it across the room at me.
    "Whatever. My turn." I decided.
    "Your turn for what?" Nathan asked, skeptically.
    "To show you my new clothes."
    "Tam.." Nathan protested. I knew he'd hate me.
    After ample whining on both our parts, he finally gave in, when I forced his shoes on his feet, and we were out the door. The wlak between our houses is only 10 minutes, but we manage to make it 40. We usually stop at the convienience store for snacks, an ice cream sandwhich for me, and Doritos for him. Sometimes we purposefully walk around the park instead of cutting through it. Children scare the both of us. We only go to that park at night time, to talk when we didn't want anyone to hear us at our houses.
    We finally got to my house after half an hour, my sister Jessie tries to hit on Nathan like she always does.
    Nathan says what he always says. "Jessie, sweetie, you're twelve, call me when in six years, babe." Jessie's eyes always light up when he calls her babe.
    "You shouldn't lead her on like that!" I said when we got to my room.
    "She'll forget about me when all the boys are after her when she gets to high school." Nathan defends.
    "You don't know my sister," I went into my closet and pulled out several shopping bags, Nathan groaned at the sight of them and collapsed on the floor. I knew it wasn't fair to make him watch me try on each peice individually, so I layed them on my bed and he helped me assemble the outfits. For someone who loathes being called trendy, he really can put together an outfit for any occasion.
    Basically, he's the same as any girl's best friend, without boobs.

    We met in grade nine. Second semester. I"m not going to lie, I would never have seen myself affiliating with him. At least, not to the Degree we're at now. We both had drama class together. Sure, he was a good actor, and he was funny, but we never talked unless we had to work together. It wasn't untill halfway through when we even got on a "hi" in the halls basis.
    We started having real conversations nearer to the end, and hung out after school. We fit together perfectly. We spent nearly everyday together in the summer.
    Grade ten was a great year for the two of us. We had two classes together consecutively. We were inseperable.
    So here I am, two weeks left of summer, sitting on his bed while he models his new clothes that he got with his mom Julie earlier in the day. Yeah, my best friend still shops with his mom.
    This is why I'm writing this. He's awesome. And he refuses to demonstrate his amazing writing abilty. So I'm doing it for him, even if he doesn't know it. My best friend's diary.
The Chronicles of Nathan Romirez, by Tamara Goldstien.

soon.
(L)


oh yeah bryson mother fucking williams wants to bang me.





















I'M DOWN.

 and vinegar, vinegar, vinegar.


So today I drove like 2 hours just for fish and chips.
but, they were argueably they world's best.
It was in the cutest town called Killarney and the population is only 500 people.

but I guess people drive for miles and miles just for these fish and chips.
It was good times.


It was Me, Leah, Owen, and Leah's Grandma Beaudwin.



and the boys there were...
impressive  ;) ;)


no.
There were two boys on bicycles, and the older one was trying to impress us soo bad.
He kept going past us and doing pop up wheelies, and then he had the nerve to look back.
It was soooooooo funny.
Honestly, I shat my pants.




But of course, the day didn't start there.
We tried to go to bed early.
But failed.


And we were hit with the notorious giggles the ONE NIGHT when we had to get up early.



"...Sarah?"
"What?"
"You were talking in your sleeep again"




Ugh, I wish I wasn't a sleep talker.
It's like, letting people into my mind.
Without consent.


but srsly.
nighttime giggles.



Leah was coming back from the bathroom.
and she stepped on this totally avoidable stool,

and lunged like 3 feet into the bed.



It was soooooo dramatic and sooooooooooo funny.




AND THEN SHE WAS LAUGHING AND SHE ALMOST SNORTED.




But her laugh was very organized yesterday.
[ha ha ha -breathe-.
ha ha ha -breathe-
ha ha ha -breathe-]


SHE.........



made me forget what I was typing.




Anyway, we got up at like 6:30 as opposed to 7:30,
which was good.
even though Owen ate the rest of the reese puffs.


Anyways, Becky picked us up and took us to the Bait Shop.
Almost got pulled over.
Fun times.









So we went to Zellers.
"Why am I so tempted to steal?"


OH GUESS WHAT.
yeah.
Yeah Leah said that one.



We made a stop at this park thing.
The bathroom was the most disgusting thing.
ever.

I couldn't do it
my lord.

and larger than drain spider.
was on Leah's toilet paper.


ewwwwww.

Well, I went eventually


We went down to the lake.
It was sooo pretty there.
And we saw some Crayfish.
I almost lost my shoe
:|


That was scary.


And I confessed every single one of my fears to Leah.
"There's no support!"



I might blog about those later.


We also planned my death.
Morbid.
But pretty Epic when you think about it.


Involving bridges, and seat ejection, my dear friend ogo pogo, and all the works.
epiccccccccccccc.



Anyways, went to Killarney,
fish and chips, bicycles,
you know how it is.
Almost got ice cream.
too full.


Got stuck in construction on the way back.
Got some sleep in the car.
Which is something Leah and I don't do.



Came home.
Read.



WENT OUTSIDE WHAT WHAT.
Read outside.


Took some beautiful photographs.
Met a new friend Bernard.
who died in my hands.
:(






GOT ATTACKED BY A FREAKING DOG.
That was scary.





Made Taco's and Cake.
Had it under control.




And I had a night time nap.
And now I"m here.




Livejournal.
Ily.














DRAMA IN TEH SOUTH.
Thank god I"m here to stay out of it all.



I guess there's a drama bug going around and everyone is catching it.

RETAINER POLICE.
I forgot my retainer at home.


....for 2 WEEKS.

oooops. 




I'm staying in sudbury for another week,
I'm excited.
I looove it here.
I just had to get my shifts filled at work.
laaaaaaaame.
It was an adventure, I guess.

Yesterday was my birthday.
I'm glad I was here and no one made a big deal out of it. I'm the kind of person who you would think I would loove my birthday and all the attention I get from it. But I hate it.
Facebook, I get the most wall posts I get in a year.
srsly, they like doubled.


I am having alot of fun though.
I'm glad we're staying because it is soooo beautiful here.


I've learned alot about my family.
[Even though I"m staying with Leah's, haha.]

"So leah, what are you up to this summer?"
"I don't know, I'm probably coming back with Sarah later."
"Oh you have family here? What's the last name?"
"Punkari."
"oh! Is Doug your grandpa?"
"Yup."
"He used to sleep on my floor!"


hahaha.
I can't wait to go home and tell him that.



30 rock.
Ouran High School Host Club
FMA
Rune Factory.
Yeah, I'm in the great out doors,
staying indoors
to watch Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin make fun of each other.


this is the life.